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Old 04-21-2009, 02:21 PM   #1
 
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Arrow Man Rules

Quote:
...this is a repost from another forum..but the truth lol..
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1.. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be..

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1.. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1.. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say WHATEVER you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as BASEBALL, Football,
golf or Video Gaming.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping..
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Old 04-21-2009, 02:35 PM   #2
 
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haha amazing.
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Old 04-21-2009, 04:18 PM   #3
 
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isnt that the truth
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Old 04-21-2009, 09:28 PM   #4
 
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Haha yeah, I especially liked number one, lol!
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Old 01-29-2010, 09:54 AM   #5
 
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I know this is an old post but it's to funny to not bring back
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1989 FIRST GEN with goofy hub caps.
1st gen 87-91
2nd gen 92-96..
3rd gen 97-04
4th gen 05-on

Quote:
Originally Posted by ole-busted View Post
I carry my Maglite as an "Equalizer" and sometime use it as a "Darkness Eliminator"
Quote:
Originally Posted by madmopar View Post
some see light, some see stars.
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Old 01-29-2010, 11:27 AM   #6
 
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This was a hilarious read and absolutely 100% true!!
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Old 01-29-2010, 11:34 AM   #7
 
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sorry guys, i just dont seem to have these problems with my wife. most of these, she is actually opposite of. still funny, just cant relate.
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Old 01-29-2010, 11:37 AM   #8


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It is the truth well spoken
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Old 01-29-2010, 11:38 AM   #9
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MOPARVICK View Post
sorry guys, i just dont seem to have these problems with my wife. most of these, she is actually opposite of. still funny, just cant relate.
your lucky than.
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The name is Josh
1989 FIRST GEN with goofy hub caps.
1st gen 87-91
2nd gen 92-96..
3rd gen 97-04
4th gen 05-on

Quote:
Originally Posted by ole-busted View Post
I carry my Maglite as an "Equalizer" and sometime use it as a "Darkness Eliminator"
Quote:
Originally Posted by madmopar View Post
some see light, some see stars.
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Old 01-29-2010, 11:39 AM   #10


Name: 94mark3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MOPARVICK View Post
sorry guys, i just dont seem to have these problems with my wife. most of these, she is actually opposite of. still funny, just cant relate.
A few years ago I could have related but I definatly can't anymore. Thank god!!
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